This morning whilst traveling to work on the bus I was sat at the back seat of the bus with two other people. From what they were talking about I assumed they work together. A few minutes into the conversation I realised that neither of them knew what the other person was talking about, why? It is because they were not listening to understand they were listening to respond. When the other person was talking the other person was thinking about what they were going to say next. It made me think about my job, I work with a lot of people and I had to ask myself how many times do I listen to respond rather than to understand. I think a lot of us are not were we want to be in life because we do not listen to understand we listen to respond. I have  heard a lot of people in the dispute who keep saying people don’t understand me but if you ask them if they understand that person they will give you a very blank look. I think a lot of disputes in life can easily be sorted out if people listened to understand the other people and to understand the whole situation. If you want to build strong relationships you must make sure that you are able to understand other people and their situation which a lot of people do not do.

I remember telling someone a situation that I was in and they started telling me about how they went through a similar situation, ten minutes into the conversation I realised that they had no idea what I was about because their situation and mine were different. imagine if you go for your eye test tomorrow and you get there and explain to the optician what your problem is and he takes off his glasses and says try these on. You try the glasses and you say I cant see a thing. How would you feel if the optician says you are not really motivated, you are just so negative, if these glasses work for me they can work for everyone. Actually that is not true, both I and my beloved wear glasses and I would not be able to see a thing if I decided to go to work wearing her glasses. You must focus to listen to the other person and actually understand the situation that they in. You must be able to see it through their glasses and not yours, if you give them yours they will not see a thing. When I picked up the idea of going through becoming a motivational speaker I would tell other people come on you can do it, I managed to get up from the ashes of defeat after failing my exams just be positive you silly billy. It was not until three months I go I realised that I was doing it all wrong, I realised that if I wanted to help anyone I would have to understand the people I was talking to and find what actually works for them and not what worked for me,

Marriages, business partnerships and work relationships with senior mangers and employees have broken down because people have refused to see the situation through the glasses of the other person. They have simply said that this is what I can see now and I am going with it. A lot of couples stopped understanding each other when they got married, remember how attentive you were to every little detail but now you cannot even keep your eyes off the television when the other person is talking. If you are not listening you will certainly not understand the person. If you want to understand the another person stop what you are doing so that all focus and attention is on them. I think this method applies in a work place as well, if you understand why your boss or your employee do certain things you will be able to see it in their glasses and encourage them to use their  strength.

listen to understand and live a life full of peace!

Frank Saliki