1. Internal alignment. The absence of internal conflict is the only way to be at peace with our true self.  Any misalignment between our life and our core standards will prevent us from being totally honest with ourselves.  Self honesty is a prerequisite to internal harmony. To be yourself means that you need to identify your core standards and align with them.

2. Know your personal values. We all have a built in set of personal values. If we lose touch with those values we lose touch with our true self. When we violate those values we violate our relationship with the person that we really are. To truly be yourself, it is vital that you identify those values and make every effort to live by them.

3. Pick your pain and pleasure paradigms. As humans we are programmed to move away from pain and toward pleasure. To feel good about our pursuits and goals they need to represent some form of pleasure. To avoid the things that are out of alignment with our core standards and personal values, they need to represent pain on some level. If you properly assign these pain and pleasure paradigms they will fully support your natural tendency to be yourself.

4. Choose your passions carefully. You might think that you have very little control over your passions, but nothing could be further from the truth. To make sure that our passions align with our true self they need to be in harmony with our values and standards. Passions are easily influenced by what we think about and what we take in through our five senses. These are all within your control.

5. Adjust your response patterns. How we respond to the many situations and circumstances in our lives will determine how the world around us responds to us. Most people just react to external stimuli. How much more appropriate it is to respond in a way that supports our values and reinforces our sense of self honesty. If someone pushes your buttons and you just react, then they were the ones controlling you. To be yourself you need to consciously choose your response.

6. Cultivate positive beliefs about yourself. Being yourself is very difficult if you believe that you are worthless or undeserving, which of course isn’t true. Make it a habit to cultivate positive feelings about yourself as a person. Commend yourself for all the wonderful ways you contribute to the world around you.  If you give yourself the approval you deserve then your identity won’t depend on approval from outside sources.

Be the person you were meant to be

We are all unique and we all make a valuable contribution. Once you accept that it becomes much easier to connect with your true self and to feel comfortable being you. There will always be external influences trying to blur the line between who you are and who they want you to be. But if you follow these six suggestions, you will always know who you are